SAM & DAVE'S FERTILITY JOURNEY

Sam and Dave had been trying for a baby for around 3 years before being referred for fertility treatment. They received treatment at another clinic unsuccessfully before getting in touch with us here at
St Jude’s Clinic.

Sam (42) is a teacher and Dave is a National Sales Manager for a holiday company. They live in Wolverhampton. Find out what happened during their fertility journey in this interview with Sam below:

When did you first start trying to conceive and how long was it before you decided to seek help through fertility services?

After we got married in 2001, we decided that we wanted to start a family straight away. By 2004, we still hadn’t fallen pregnant so we sought help from our GP. Following various tests and procedures at New Cross, we were referred to another local fertility clinic for treatment.

How did infertility affect you in your personal life?

I found that the infertility affected me on a daily basis. Being in my late 20s/early 30s, everyone around me was getting pregnant. I would cry every time someone announced a pregnancy. I felt like such a failure because I couldn’t do the one thing my body was designed for.  My husband was incredibly supportive but I felt like I had failed him too.

We avoided friends and family events, partly because of the pregnant women but also because of the invasive and personal questions. I have learnt never to ask a couple if they want children.
Even being at work became a battle. Working with predominately young women meant that sitting in the staffroom became impossible. I felt like I was surrounded by the most fertile people on Earth but I wasn’t one of them.

Infertility puts a strain on any marriage but thankfully, it made us stronger as a couple. We believe that if we could get through this, we can get through whatever life throws at us in the future.

Tell us about the sort of fertility treatments you had - what were they like to experience?

At another local fertility clinic, we had IUI followed by IVF but having failed, it was recommended that we tried ICSI next. On the second round of ICSI, I fell pregnant with twins but miscarried both before 12 weeks. One frozen embryo transfer and then one more fresh round of ICSI resulted in another pregnancy but this too, was not to last.

We were investigated for recurrent miscarriage and the treatment was adjusted accordingly. We managed to borrow more money for the last two rounds of ICSI but both failed.

Each type of fertility treatment has different challenges to overcome. You learn to inject yourself and you become an expert with the terminology. It is the emotional rollercoaster which is more difficult to cope with.

I joined an online fertility forum which became my saving grace. These were woman who understood my pain and anguish and supported me through each treatment.  Unless you have been through infertility, you can never truly understand how painful it is.

How long did it take for you to get pregnant after starting treatment?

We had given up hope of ever having children when my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He knew that he would not get to spend the pension he had saved for all of his life so my parents offered to pay for more fertility treatment on the agreement that we sought a second opinion. 

This led us to Mr Adeghe and thank the Lord we did.  He insisted on some additional tests to find out why I couldn’t stay pregnant. He found out that I had an abnormal blood supply to my uterus. With medication, this problem was solved and we got pregnant after just one round of ICSI at St Jude’s.

How did you feel in that moment you realised you had a positive pregnancy test?

The night before I was due to do the test, I started spotting. I was distraught and cried myself to sleep. The next morning, my husband convinced me to do the test - I did 4 because I was convinced the first 3 were wrong. (I kept those pregnancy tests for 3 years).  I was elated but extremely scared. That feeling stayed with me until I felt that baby move at 22 weeks.

Did you face any challenges or worries during your pregnancy?

I had a threatened miscarriage at 6 weeks so was put on bed rest until 12 weeks. This was the most difficult six weeks of my life. I felt incredibly guilty at leaving my class and being an active person, bed rest was really, really hard.

I went back to work at 13 weeks pregnant but then extensive nosebleeds started due to the aspirin I needed to take. I was not allowed to work until I was nose-bleed free for 7 days. I managed about 5 weeks work during the whole nine months of pregnancy. Thankfully, my boss and colleagues were extremely supportive.

Tell us about your baby!

I gave birth to the most perfect and precious baby girl in May 2011. We instantly fell in love. She is now a happy, confident 6 yr old who loves life. She is the centre of our world and we count our blessings on daily basis that we have her in our lives.

What’s it like being a mum after the long-awaited journey that you had?

Being a mum is the most wonderful experience of my life. It is everything I thought it would be and more. Our daughter brings us joy on a daily basis and we are so proud of everything she does.

I often sit at night and watch her, still not believing how lucky we are and how we had given up hope of ever having a child of our own. Mr Adeghe gave us that chance and for that, he is our hero.  We are forever in his debt.

What advice could you give to couples going through their own fertility journey based on your experiences?

Most importantly, if you are experiencing infertility, start your journey sooner rather than later. Test and appointments take time so it is best to get started.

Fertility treatment takes you on an emotional roller-coaster. Be kind to yourself and be kind to each other. It is perfectly okay to feel miserable and there will be days when you want to stay in bed and eat chocolate.  Try not to shut yourself away from the world. Find someone to talk to who truly understands what you are going through. 

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The team at St. Jude’s Clinic would like to thank Sam for sharing her and Dave’s moving and inspirational fertility story. We hope that it will give you optimism and courage to get through the difficult times during your own fertility journey.

If you’d like to talk to someone about our fertility services and how we could help you, please get in touch by calling 01902 620831.